An Attempt at (Blog) Revival

         For nearly a full year, I have been absent from you, my blog-reading friends.  My lengthy blogging-world absence is due largely to the busyness (and fullness) of my life these days. To be sure, it has been a time filled with so much more than I had ever anticipated! Among  other things, I have had the privilege of sharing my story at this year’s “Let’s Talk Trauma”conference and Parkwood Institute’s “Acquired Brain Injury Education Series.” (Should you wish, you can see my Parkwood talk here: http://mediasite.otn.ca/Mediasite/Play/b7b89a9e2cc74d2194168a352e79303a1d?catalog=fd668812-d87c-47f9-b1ba-6d979fed9af4). Until quite recently, my recovery has solely focussed on relearning physical and cognitive tasks (from swallowing to talking, from walking to writing). But now, in these past few months, I’ve begun to come to terms with the loss I have experienced since March of 2014. Nonetheless, words, both spoken and written have been wonderful, even powerful, sources of wisdom. 
      
         One notable source of resonating words that has been of great help to me during this period  has been Jerry Sittser’s book, “A Grace Disguised.” Sittser writes of his own experience of loss (his wife, mother and daughter were all killed in a drunk driving accident) and is quite appropriately subtitled  “How the Soul Grows Through Loss.” Sittser, writing that no loss can ever be qualitively compared against another experience, writes of a type of loss he deems catastrophic loss. That is, any form of loss which turns one’s whole life on its head. (This definition goes on to include a myriad of things such as, any negative or de-habilitating news, a prolonged illness, a divorce, a mental illness or, even, prolonged unemployment).   In his book, Sittser reflects on the different forms of loss, the affects of such loss and ends with an appropriate description of the ways in which that experience of such loss can empower one, even transform one’s soul.  
         
          One of the opening images Sittser (beautifully) uses to describe the experience of catastrophic loss,  is that of a setting sun which, then, breaks into a sunrise. Sittser writes that “the quickest way for anyone to reach the sun and the light of day is not to run west, chasing after the setting sun, but to head east, plunging into the darkness until one comes to the sunrise.” This image of plunging into the darkness, though at first a seemingly a contradictory action, is to chase the sun,  by awaiting the sunrise. So too, does plunging into the darkness that is loss, eventually leading one into a kind of sense of contentment and peace. I like that. Certainly, that is what I strive to do.

Breaking Barriers: Top Ten Tips when Interacting With People Who Have An Acquired Brain Injury

On March 16, 2014, after preaching a sermon at Westmount Christian Reformed Church in Strathroy, ON, entitled “Seeing God Anew,” I was involved in a serious car accident and spent two weeks shy of six months in hospital. Now, being at home, I can begin to see the irony of my sermon title that day! Though, I still do not understand why my accident happened, I have certainly been enabled to see God anew since the accident.  God has been incredibly faithful to me in my recovery. Though the journey is long and difficult, I continue to make gains. I have also met so many people who have been able to partner with me in beautiful ways as I work hard to achieve my recovery goals.

While in hospital, I listened frequently to what I called “my resurrection song:” After the Storm by Mumford & Sons. This song speaks of an individual looking up “after the storm” and then yearning for “a time, you'll see, with no more tears/And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears/Get over your hill and see what you find there/With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.” This particular song highlights the necessity of living “with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.” In short, we are to live as a people of grace with a love for beauty.

            The book of Colossians also speaks of living as people of grace. In Colossians 4:6, Paul advises the church at Colossae saying, “Let your conversation be always full of grace…that you may know how to answer everyone.” Though written thousands of years ago, I find this verse to be extremely apt today, particularly for interacting with those who may have experienced brain injury. Having suffered such an injury, myself, I wish to share with you a list of tips for relating to people who have experienced an acquired brain injury specifically.

        

Top Ten Tips for Interacting with Individuals who have had an Acquired Brain injury (ABI/TBI):

1. EVERY case is different. Find out about the person, the type of injury, the time period of injury, the seriousness of the injury and, if possible, the recovery that has already taken place.

2.   Be inquisitive: Ask the person questions. Show them you care about their life.

3. Rehabilitation can be a full-time job. Therapy may take most of a person’s day and energy.  

4. Suggest quieter locations: People with ABI/TBI are often very sensitive to noise. Perhaps changing the venue might be helpful for the person affected. Better yet, allow them to suggest locations.

5. Be patient: It often takes some people with an acquired brain injury a while to think and respond. Allow them to have that time.

6. Allow for rest periods: Fatigue is perhaps the most common trait in people who have ABI/TBI.

7. Treat them as you did before the injury, unless otherwise told to act or talk differently by family members, friends, or therapists. Sometimes, all that is required is for you to slow down the rate of your speech.

8. Be gracious: People who have had an acquired brain injury may get easily agitated or upset. Depending on the case, people with ABI may not respond in socially acceptable ways.

9. Treat the individual as their age dictates. Allow them to ASK for help when needed.

10. Above all, treat individuals with ABI/TBI with respect.